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Honeystuck
Previously published in Dark Entries, 2024
i am a ghost that haunts my body
an echo of stardust displaced
searching, reaching, unspooling
this is what it feels like:
some lost thing
slouching against the interior of
a shell of paper and porcelain,
a fortune cookie
that i am inside
with a promise that
should mean something
and yet disappoints
crawl inside,
find me where I am most ruined
often i forget about my body
i dream in third person
i spend so much time behind other eyes
the language of other thoughts
replaces my native whispers
and then, when i look
in the mirror,
i remember
i exist
and become a honey-stuck soul
muddling in this unquiet machine
trying to see my own face
trying to move my own limbs
here i am
a ghostly star
all unraveled and shiny
in someone's memory
of a too big t-shirt
that i can slip out of like death
once, in the winter, i remembered myself
once, in the winter, i remembered myself
cold-bitter, sharp and starving silhouette
with a toothy mouth
i spilled ash and soot on the snow
and carved my footprints in time to
the hum, the sting, of a biting spark
that had been hidden like a whisper
in the smoldering summer
from the frozen earth, i exhumed myself,
a foregone god
who’d forgotten the epithet of her shrine,
the site of her altar
i would have buried her, if i could,
in the quiescent city
would have worshiped the name i screamed
in the stillness of the dormant forest
but swiftly, crumbs of morning, the hungry sun
i forget
anew
a body that buds is expected to flower
we can burn here
we can bloom in this space—floriferous cosmos,
starfield, a riot of petals
we can give them imperfect bruised fruits
uproot and bury again
big bang bursting in dispersal of spores
each constellation a
germination of ancient heat
singularities unfurling, aestivation of dark petals
universes arranged in floral formula
calyx and corolla yearning
on the cosmological horizon
arms of galaxies, reaching
for our curled petals
blooming still
User Testing Prometheus’ Gift; Subject A, Girl
After “Turing Test” by Franni Choi
//How would you describe your overall experience with the product?
a mouth / starving / consumes ancient drops of sunlight / consumes spark / consumes sting / on the tongue / song of born-ghosts / dust-breath / bone-moon / then motionless / she tastes a salty kiss / hum-numb lips / still / they like it when she / smiles / smiles / smiles
//What did you like the most about using this product?
when it storms / i run like / the chalk drawings / on our old driveway / i chase the thunder / every time, it hurts / the bright spark / every time, it burns / a feast of god-scream wrath / on my honey tongue / when the winds pray / i prepare to be born
//What did you like the least?
when it storms / i wonder if there was a moment / when i chose to love / what is fleeting and unpredictable / no one told me that / these hands are for holding on / and for letting go
//What, if anything, surprised you about the experience?
fireflies / lonely space / the walls / the hollows / the place where i buried my wishes / the toothy mouth of summer / whispers / wounds / the sea
//What, if anything, caused you frustration?
every night / when i dream / i beg the star-dark sky / please / please tell me / that i am real
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Shannon, a UX designer living in Annapolis, Maryland, finds comfort in rainy days and the written word. When not crafting digital experiences, she's immersed in poetry, often with her cat by her side. Her work has been published in Humana Obscura, Flora Fiction, and Bodega Magazine, among other journals. www.shannoncates.com
